pink eye

IMG_3003Kim and I were standing in the yard at the end of strike talking about the upcoming winter show, when the conversation was over-powered by noises Luka was making on the ground between us. “Uhh, hold that thought Kim.” I pulled out my ipod and took a picture.

Luka licks her butt a lot, particularly if there’s good leverage, this grass is a good example. She does not appreciate the hardwood floors at home. When we stop at the bookshop she expects a biscuit from the jar behind the desk, then lays down right in front of the till and throws a long elegant leg over her shoulder using the carpets traction to her advantage. She works up a loud slobbery suction that bewilders and disgusts anyone in earshot. Stopping her momentum takes a bit of force and she’s glassy eyed, out of breath, panting from her frothy jowls. It’s almost as off putting as just letting her finish.

When we brought her home a couple years ago from the SPCA, googling “My dog licks her butt all-the-time” didn’t answer my query. In a check up I asked the older male vet, in all seriousness, if she was masturbating. He stared at me. I stared back waiting for a response. He changed the subject.

On a later check up with a female vet about my age I asked again. She looked up at me and said  “Luka’s probably expressing her anal glands”

“Everyday?”

She shrugged “Probably likes the taste of it.”

My dog companion has no modesty but she takes really good care of herself. I can live with that… except she gives herself pink eye. I guess the point of this is: never let her lick your face. Ever. You have been warned. You’re welcome.

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4 comments
    • lysette said:

      I really had to pay attention to what site I was clicking on 😉

  1. raechel said:

    Oh my goodness, I miss dogs. They are the most unabashed creatures. My cat does silly gross stuff, but it most modest about it, haha.

    • lysette said:

      And at least cats are quiet about it. Luka is a large shepherd mix there is nothing steath about her. Her flexibility is impressive but audibly she had all the subtly of a hitachi magic wand;)

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